


Hotels and Housewives

by AbelinCilion69 (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Dungeons and Dragons Parody, F/F, F/M, Hate, Hotels and Housewives, Karkat is a grumpy DM, Lawyers, Marine Biologists, Multi, Other, Pale Romance, Pirates, Pre-Sgrub, Red Romance, Team Charge, Team Scourge, Team Seawater, Trolls Roleplay as Humans, Zoologists, archeologists, roleplaying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2745707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AbelinCilion69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which all of the trolls get together every week to roleplay Hotels and Housewives, a game like D&D where, rather than playing a mighty adventurer, you play the life of an average human, with an average job (Your "class") and average quests. Any numbers that you find likely will have been rolled by die on this site: https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hotels and Housewives

     Everyone sat in a circle. You looked around at all of your players, a notebook full of campaign notes. Most of your friends laughed at you when you said that you wanted to be the GM of a game of H&H (Hotels and Housewives), saying that you couldn't pull it off, or that the game in question was for wrigglers and that you were lame for wanting to play it, but Terezi talked a good half of them into it. You were lucky to have such an amazing matesprit.

     Everyone had separated into teams of sorts. Aradia, Tavros, Terezi and Vriska just stuck with their FLARPing teams, Team Charge and Team Scourge, so Eridan and Feferi just partnered up, naming themselves Team Seawater. You didn't care because they were actually playing your game.

     "When are we starting? " Eridan whined at you, but you just ignored him for a minute, continuing to scribble down in your notebook any last minute adjustments you had made for their characters. You had been pretty close in your guesses on how everyone would build their characters, except for fucking Vriska. She insisted that she had to be a pirate, even though you told her  _multiple times_ that those were barely a thing anymore, even for humans. You did your research for this game. Anyway, the two of you compromised that she could be an internet pirate, selling movies illegally on the internet.

     "We'll start when Aradia and Feferi finally finish their fucking characters. " You responded finally.

     "Sorry everybody! I've never played and I want my character to turn out whale. " Feferi said, frowning slightly. Her and Eridan's characters, Preben and Tadas, were marine biologists, which had a decent amount of starting money ($470). It also had various knowledge benefits and other class skills, as did any job.

     Terezi's character was a lawyer, starting money $350, named Kira. She took the flaws blind and foreigner so that she could have 'a more realistic character'. You knew it was really because she wanted her character to be more like her. After doing some quick research on your PDA, you found the name was an old Russian name that meant "far sighted" or "young". Ironic. Her highest stat was a 19 in Intelligence. Odd, she knew her highest stat should have been _Charisma_ and second highest Intelligence with her job.

     Aradia's character was an archeologist, starting money $370, named Regana. She had high Wisdom and Charisma, both of them tied at 19, with her second highest stat being a 17 in Intelligence. Good stats for an archeologist. Lucky rolls, too.

     Tavros' character had the second lowest starting money at $220, beaten only by Vriska's $140. His character was an animal researcher, who worked in a lab that was currently researching various forms of cancer in primates in the attempt to find a cure for it. His name was Ruben. He took the flaw paraplegic, giving him a -2 to Strength, but a +2 to Dexterity. It's not like he really needed the Strength bonus in his line of work, anyway.

     "Done! Glub, I'm reely sorry that I took so long making my character, guys! I just wanted her to be good, you know? " Feferi smiled.

     "Okay, we can start now, then! " You announced, making everyone sit up expectantly. This was going to be a fun game.


End file.
